This was a great episode, full of the old magic and mustard! It opened with a really strange view of a swarm of space ‘pods’. These little creatures looked like very large spherical pineapples with cute waggly tails.

One of them managed to breach the hull of the LEXX and travel around inside, mind scanning each crewmember in turn. First Kai, and then 790 before stopping at the sleeping Stan. Stanley Tweedle is having an adolescent dream about a very attractive blonde woman that he asks out on a date (to a dance).

He was nervous about asking her for a date, but after initial encouragement she, Lyekka, laughs out loud. It seems that Stanley had made a ludicrous suggestion.

The little space pod seems to be satisfied with Stanley’s dream and finds a place to attach itself. It chooses the ceiling near where Stanley is sleeping. As soon as it is attached, a humanoid figure drops out. Stanley awakes to the giggle of the creature and he feasts his eyes on the lovely naked female shape of Lyekka.

 
She tells Stan that she would like to dance with him. Stanley looks at her, still dazed (he probably still believes himself to be dreaming, it’s not like he is used to drop-dead gorgeous naked women materialising out of thin air and asking him for a dance!). Stanley looks at her and tries to reason what is happening. Lyekka tells him, "Perhaps I am the woman of your dreams."

Stanley notices that she has no sex organs, she most definitely has breasts, but she doesn’t have nipples and erm, the other area is erm….. underdeveloped (ok, ok I know what the ‘area’ is called, but I’ m too shy, you’ll just have to work it out for yourself!). Lyekka is feminine in every other way.

Stanley ‘wimps out’ and runs off to wake Kai. Lyekka undergoes a basic transformation and materialises a very close fitting, patterned, single piece, body costume and follows. She appears to be non threatening and very sweet, in fact she reminds us of the super sweet Wist in Eating Pattern.

The scene then changes to three astronauts from a planet called Potataho on a special mission to go beyond the great ‘Ion Veil’ that surrounds their planet. They break through and head out into open space where no Patataho’en has gone before!. These guys remind me of Idaho rednecks in spacesuits and one of them is played by Jeff Hirschfield (a LEXX series writer and the voice of 790).

Stan meanwhile, attempts to wake Kai (which is no mean feat after what Kai did to him last time!) and tells 790 (still depressed after the loss of Zev) that they have a visitor. 790 isn’t interested. Lyekka joins them and snuggles up to Stan. Kai is revived and Stanley explains what has happened. Lyekka then adds that she is probably a Meanwhile Lyekka has stolen the bowl of custard (that was Zev) and takes it to her ‘pod’. Moss joins her there and confronts her about the whereabouts of his crew, "…. I ate them. I was hungry and they were yummy" She says with a warm smile.

"Don’t laugh at me, I’m having a bad day." Says Moss. (That was an understatement of biblical proportions – and you just knew that it would get worse). Lyekka

eats Moss (see what I mean!) and the Bowl of Zev as Stanley, Kai and a screaming 790 enter.

Lyekka explains that she needed the protein of the astronauts and Zev to make Stanley's present, "What present." Asks Stanley. Lyekka turns towards the pod and out pops a shapely female figure. It is wearing the slave harness that Zev wore but nothing else except some greeny-yellow gunge hiding all her rude bits. Lyekka had made Xev to look the same as Zev but with red hair and a different face. Xev gradually recognises Kai, Stanley and then 790. They are all pleased to see her back.

The episode ended with the manic laughter of a happy 790 and Xev leaving to shower and change into some clothing (we weren’t allowed to watch).

I’d have to rate this a miserly 29,129 out of 10. What did you think?

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This episode review is © 1999 Tony Fawl.
Not for reproduction without the authors express permission

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